Assalamualaikum wbt, readers,
as usual, it always took me for so long to write again in this blog.
do forgive my dear blog.
and as usual too there are many things happened out of my control these days since my last post.
but first, hello 25 years old girl :)
yeahh.. 25 already even not yet reach my real age (my upcoming birthday is in August)
every story have their own reason
everything happen must happen to show you something
means?
i know its quite complicated
but I try to digest it slowly
why?
i always get down whenever i feel being ignored
its not that i want everyone's attention around me
it's just that, if you really want to be in my life,
just don't playing around or pulling my leg with my life
you know i have my own principle
A principle which teach me how to appreciate people who appreciate me in their life
so please don't mess around with my attitude or personality
or loyalty in friendship basically
just like people always said that,
"you know my name, but you don't know my story"
so if you not really sure how real I was or
who is really actually me or
who the hell she is actually?
like people said too,
my attitude is based on your attitude towards me.
don't make any quick stupid assumption
as I too never ever do that
even I had ever did that I always tell myself,
"don't think people negatively, Alia. They have their own reason why they act like that to you."
so its okay if you're trying to be mean to me,
it's really okay
because I've been used to it a long time ago
ever since I was a kid
being ignored
being nobody
being silence
it's like part of my life everyday
there's no need for me to act like a girl who being so innocent
so gentle just because you're a girl so act like you are a girl
yes i know i'm a girl
but that doesn't mean that i should be sweet or nicest girl ever
you never see how i treat people differently between girls and boys
i have been through a lot
being cheated
being deceived
by so many people i've met before
so i didn't know if it because of me being too sweet or nice
or it because of I was too stupid before
(even till today I always feel stupid)
so i have my own reason too why sometimes i act like a stupid harsh girl
because i don't want any stupid kinda lovey dovey friendship between man and woman
it's actually stupid
why?
because with just a little care any girl/boy can easily fall in love
it's not that i being "perasan sendiri"
but it's just that i need to avoid it
it's not about your feeling or other's feeling
it's about how you handle your feeling towards this kind of man/woman friendship
so the best way I can do is
act like "manly" girl even though men will hate this too "manly" girl
(what i really mean by "manly" is some sort of rude girl)
so if you ever happen to think that I am the one who being rude first
it's because I grown up in that way
and if you ever think that I should change
at least try to understand first
not stab me at the back first
because I might not realize it or being blinded
but I always lay to Allah's help
He the one will help me to open my eyes anyway.
not much
just try to be respectful
that's all.
